I stay pretty much out of sight after dinner, but can hear them in the other room, still having a great time it seems. I clean up the kitchen alone, for the first time this week I think to myself, hit the shower and then into bed. The girls still hard at it in the other room. I am glad that all seems to be back to normal for Leah. But you know, I am not really sure it will be that easy for me to go back. The louder rock has drifted into some softer tunes and just a little quieter from the living room, I assume the girls are dropping off to sleep one by one. Then the door creaks and slowly opens and I hear a familiar tiny voice say, “Sir, are you awake?” I turn to my side and answer, “Yes, hurry in, not sure who is still up.” Leah is standing across from me and in a tiny white nightie. I sit up at the side of the bed and start to say, “Leah.......... “. She stops me with a kiss, just a light touch on my lips and a whisper, “Did you think I could sleep alone tonight, I want to return. "What did she think was troubling me? If only I could find a way toexpress my mixed up feelings. But talking about personal topics wasnearly impossible for me. Not feeling like a normal boy was difficult todiscuss with anyone, but especially a parent. "Maybe later, Mom."There was no way I was going be able to honestly explain why I waslooking at lingerie section of the catalog. I picked up one of my schoolbooks and pretended to be reading. Glancing up, I saw Mom lookingdirectly at me. She seemed determined to wait me out. Two can play thatgame.After half an hour she was still waiting for me to reveal the catalog,and I wouldn't be able to put off a bathroom call much longer either.She saw me looking up and demanded "Show me what's behind you, dear."I gave up. Without saying anything I reluctantly I pulled the catalogout from behind my back and held it out toward her."That's a start, dear. Now what page were you looking at?"Her look told me that resisting would do no good. I nervously.
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